The Chimp vs The Human
The Chimp Paradox is a simple analogy that can help us conceptualise the inner battle for emotional control we all experience.
You know those arguments that you have with your siblings or parents, where nothing coherent is being said, just words are being flung back and forth. And then it isn’t till 5/10 minutes after the argument when you’re alone with your thoughts and you have simmered down that you construct the perfect argument that would have won that battle.
Well, this is an example of your chimp dominating the argument with your sibling/parent, followed by the human logically dissecting the conversation and formulating the correct response after the argument has finished.
The chimp will dominate your initial response, as it is hard-wired in our evolutionary DNA for it to do just that. Act quickly and on instinct, something that helped our ancestors stay alive when fighting prehistoric animals. However, your mum is not a saber-toothed tiger, and she won’t kill you over this argument, well at least I hope not. So let us give control to the human. This may take a little longer, as the human is not as strong as the chimp, but this will allow you to approach this argument with logic and reason.
We all possess both the chimp and the human, however, those that can control their emotional response have put in place mental skills to manage their chimp.
Express, Don’t Suppress
Stop being a little wimp, suppress your emotions, take control of your mind, and gain power over the situation!! That’s how you deal with negative thoughts…
…not quite. You’re actually giving power to those negative emotions by giving them a free pass and license to come back in the future when you inevitably hit another obstacle. And guess what? They come back with interest!
Coaches, stop promoting suppressing behaviours! If you’re telling your athletes to ‘man up', or words to that effect, then all you’re doing is contributing to the emotional burnout that will inevitably ensue. You consider physical burnout, ensuring that you program deload weeks or tapper your athletes for a competition; however, no consideration is given to the athlete’s mental burnout, which inevitably is going to lead to drop out!
Therefore, if you’re a coach of a team, this could mean your star player cannot play. And if you’re an online coach, then your exercisers will stop exercising, thus reducing your client retention, and losing you money! So, start working with your clients through their negative thoughts. One way to do this is promoting a technique called ‘WORRY TIME’.
Scheduling 20 minutes of ‘WORRY TIME’ into your day, as counterintuitive as it sounds, will help you get through, not over, your negative emotions by taking control of them. The process:
Schedule a time in the day when you can complete this without distraction.
Write down an exhaustive list of things that are causing you to worry (nothing is trivial).
Rate these worries either 1, 2, or 3. 1 = You can do something about this. 2 = You may be able to do something about this. 3 = These are outside of your control.
Problem-solve! Go through each worry, and using your goal-setting knowledge, plan solutions to the worries. 1’s you should be able to do. Some 2’s will be possible, whilst the 3’s will not.
Accepting that you cannot control all outcomes, can intern grant you control over your emotional response to these worries.
Do not stress, it will be natural to think about your worries outside of ‘worry time’, however, this will reduce with time and practice. Alternatively find a healthy distraction to engage in after ‘worry time’, speak to a friend, go for a walk, etc.
Calm Yourself in The Moment
I need to control my emotions now!!! You’re about to walk into the gym and you’re still venting over an argument you had with your boss at the end of work. Okay. Go to the changing room or wait in your car for a moment and carry out these exercises.
CENTERING. Take a deep breath in, first fill your diaphragm by pushing your belly out, followed by filling your chest by raising your rib cage. Now, hold this breath and focus on any tension in your body, slowly release this breath whilst simultaneously relaxing your body. This is used by footballers, such as Cristiano Ronaldo when he steps up to take a free kick to bring focus and calmness. You can follow this with a series of rhythmic breathing to relax you further – breathing in for 4s, holding for 3s, breathing out for 4s, holding for 3s, and repeating.
PROGRESSIVE MUSCLE RELAXATION (PMR). Built on the premise that after maximum contraction comes maximum relaxation. Sequentially tense and relax areas of your body in conjunction with breathing exercises. Not only will this help reduce stress, anxiety, and tension, but it will also help improve your awareness of muscle contraction for the gym session you’re about to do.
GROUNDING. Using the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to engage with your environment, go through your senses and name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. By becoming present in the moment, you will reduce feelings of anxiety, frustration, and anger.
These techniques may take some time at first, but once practiced you will develop shorter versions to call upon quickly. Pairing these with a re-appraisal exercise and ‘worry-time’ will help you toward gaining complete control of your emotions!
You now have the psychological tools to start controlling your emotions! Tell us what techniques you use to remain calm in the comment section below and give us an example of where this has proven effective in your sport/exercise. If you would like a copy of a PMR script, then please drop me an email at robin@autonomypsychology.com
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